I've recently become addicted to reading the Guardian newspaper's website book section. They have a 'book blog', and through it I discovered a blog written by an American guy named Matt, who not only works in a book store but is in fact a manager. His blog varies from the usual 'customer drove me nuts' thing to quite boring (in my opinion) stuff about Manga and stats and whatnot. The first post I ever read was entitled 'The Seven Types of Customer' and I totally identified with it, I thought 'this guy's hit the nail on the head!' What I didn't expect (although I really should have after reading this) was the comments, most were 'I work in retail and I identify with you!' but there were a fair few that are downright nasty.
Rocket Bomber
I think the guy has the general customer base of a book store down pat. As he says at one point, a book shop isn't really like any other retail experience, supermarkets and clothes shops don't have information desks, they don't have all their stock listed in a searchable database.
Obviously we don't really have the 'Oprah-ites' in Britain, probably the nearest equivalent would be the Richard and Judy Book Club, although I doubt they command such a zealous following!
Wednesday 24 June 2009
Thursday 18 June 2009
FBI's Most Wanted!!
Years ago I worked in a photo lab, in a rather 'well off' area. The customers were, not to put too fine a point on it, snooty bastards, with the odd exception of a nice person here and there.
This one certainly was not. She came in the shop clutching her pack of photos and demanded to see the manager, who was out on lunch. So I as I was on my own I asked if there was anything I could do for her. She told me she'd been in that morning to collect her photos and had just been looking through them to order some reprints. However, she informed me, she was appalled at the state of her negatives. There were "fingerprints all over them", and they certainly weren't her fault, as she "doesn't leave fingerprints!!!!" It took all my strength not to burst into a fit of laughter at this proclamation, all I could do was apologise profusely and wipe some negative cleaner over them to remove said fingerprints, and since she only wanted 5 reprints, I gave her them for free.
Reminds me of 'Seven', when Kevin Spacey's character turns up at the police station to hand himself in and they find he's been grating his fingertips off...
This one certainly was not. She came in the shop clutching her pack of photos and demanded to see the manager, who was out on lunch. So I as I was on my own I asked if there was anything I could do for her. She told me she'd been in that morning to collect her photos and had just been looking through them to order some reprints. However, she informed me, she was appalled at the state of her negatives. There were "fingerprints all over them", and they certainly weren't her fault, as she "doesn't leave fingerprints!!!!" It took all my strength not to burst into a fit of laughter at this proclamation, all I could do was apologise profusely and wipe some negative cleaner over them to remove said fingerprints, and since she only wanted 5 reprints, I gave her them for free.
Reminds me of 'Seven', when Kevin Spacey's character turns up at the police station to hand himself in and they find he's been grating his fingertips off...
Sale!!
Started the annual clear out sale today, which is basically an exercise in getting rid of ageing stock which is doing nothing other than taking up room on the shelf and attracting dust. It's mostly books you've never heard of, or books about artists or musicians you've never heard of. This does not seem to dissuade the canny bargain hunter. As I was attempting to put some books in the clearance boxes earlier I was actually jostled out of the way by at least two people deliberately, and accidentally with a heartfelt apology by another. The phrase 'flies round shite' springs to mind.
Monday 15 June 2009
In case of emergency do not engage brain.
There was quite a large queue at one point today, and lots off staff came to the tills to help clear it. Suddenly an alarm went off, it's one that's connected to the fire exits. If anyone leaves by going through the fire exit it usually means they have goods they are not wanting to pay for. It really is a very loud alarm, and quite piercing. A bunch of managers appeared and one entered a code to stop the noise. Less than a minute later it starts again. The woman I was serving tutted and said, "I can understand you need a fire alarm but does it really have to be so loud? It's really made me doubt whether I'll shop here again."
Really? Does she base her shopping decisions on what type of alarm various shops utilise? How very bizarre! I really struggled not to laugh. And I certainly didn't waste my breath explaining that it wasn't a fire alarm.
Really? Does she base her shopping decisions on what type of alarm various shops utilise? How very bizarre! I really struggled not to laugh. And I certainly didn't waste my breath explaining that it wasn't a fire alarm.
Saturday 23 May 2009
Some people are just born arseholes.
Young(ish) woman with a baby in a buggy came to my till the other day. She hands her purchases to me and I start scanning them.
Young Mum: Wow, this place is a nightmare if you've got a buggy!
Me: Yeah, sorry, it's a bit cramped in places, isn't it?
YM: No, it's not that, there's no signs on any of the floors!
Me: Oh, there is, there's a directory, at least one, on each floor.
YM: Yeah, but they don't tell you where to go to pay for anything!
Me: Oh they do, they all say 'tills' on them at some point. Maybe we should make it a bit more obvious though.
YM: My god! You've obviously missed out on your customer service training!!
Me: Excuse me? (stunned!)
YM: You are being incredibly rude!!
Me: I'm sorry you feel that way.
YM: I certainly do!
Me: Would you like to speak to a manager about me then? (I was NOT in the mood to be dicked about!)
YM: I'd rather be served by one of your colleagues!
Me: (points at another till) I'm sure my colleague over there will be happy to help you!
So she picks up her stuff and heads towards another till, and the guy behind her in the queue gives me an 'eh?' look and comes to be served.
Young Mum then decides to complain after all, and my colleague calls over the nearest manager, who just happens to be the store manager! He looks over at me, I shrug, he takes YM away from the till area for a chat. A few moments later I see her leave and my manager comes over to me. He asks what happened, I tell him, word for word what was said, and he also shrugs. 'God knows what was bugging her!' he said.
So, I'm slightly confused. Was I rude? Was my tone condescending maybe? She claimed there were no signs, I informed her there were, for future reference. Her point was that 'having no signs' made it 'a nightmare if you've got a buggy'. So, if we had no signs, how would the majority of our customers who do not have buggys cope? Then, after claiming there were no signs, she acknowledges there are, but they don't give you any information. Did I maybe make her feel like an idiot? Or was she just born an arsehole?
And gee, thanks to my colleague who gave her a customer satisfaction voucher away with her! Some rather nasty feedback was left apparently! D'oh! :p
Young Mum: Wow, this place is a nightmare if you've got a buggy!
Me: Yeah, sorry, it's a bit cramped in places, isn't it?
YM: No, it's not that, there's no signs on any of the floors!
Me: Oh, there is, there's a directory, at least one, on each floor.
YM: Yeah, but they don't tell you where to go to pay for anything!
Me: Oh they do, they all say 'tills' on them at some point. Maybe we should make it a bit more obvious though.
YM: My god! You've obviously missed out on your customer service training!!
Me: Excuse me? (stunned!)
YM: You are being incredibly rude!!
Me: I'm sorry you feel that way.
YM: I certainly do!
Me: Would you like to speak to a manager about me then? (I was NOT in the mood to be dicked about!)
YM: I'd rather be served by one of your colleagues!
Me: (points at another till) I'm sure my colleague over there will be happy to help you!
So she picks up her stuff and heads towards another till, and the guy behind her in the queue gives me an 'eh?' look and comes to be served.
Young Mum then decides to complain after all, and my colleague calls over the nearest manager, who just happens to be the store manager! He looks over at me, I shrug, he takes YM away from the till area for a chat. A few moments later I see her leave and my manager comes over to me. He asks what happened, I tell him, word for word what was said, and he also shrugs. 'God knows what was bugging her!' he said.
So, I'm slightly confused. Was I rude? Was my tone condescending maybe? She claimed there were no signs, I informed her there were, for future reference. Her point was that 'having no signs' made it 'a nightmare if you've got a buggy'. So, if we had no signs, how would the majority of our customers who do not have buggys cope? Then, after claiming there were no signs, she acknowledges there are, but they don't give you any information. Did I maybe make her feel like an idiot? Or was she just born an arsehole?
And gee, thanks to my colleague who gave her a customer satisfaction voucher away with her! Some rather nasty feedback was left apparently! D'oh! :p
Wednesday 15 April 2009
Would you like a bag with that?
If I you blatantly don't need a bag, and you take one from me, you'll get no please or thank you, no money off coupon, or whatever free thing we're giving away that week, you inconsiderate planet killing bastards. Especially you fucks who take a bag then shove it inside another.
Monday 13 April 2009
Bank Holiday Monday
Sanitary towel stuck to the toilet seat...kids throwing magazines over the cafe balcony narrowly missing hitting a woman square on the head...a guy smoking crack in the toilets...
Bank Holiday Mondays suck even more than normal Mondays.
Bank Holiday Mondays suck even more than normal Mondays.
Friday 10 April 2009
The Pedants
We have a lot of events on at the shop, author signings and the like, and we print out flyers for them and have them around the store. Recently I was at the main info desk and a guy, maybe mid twenties, came over and gave me a piece of paper, saying, 'can I just give you that?' I said, 'sure', as I thought it was maybe a flyer for an event he was promoting. I had a look at it, it was one of ours, and the last part of the sentence read, 'as it celebrates it's 10th anniversary'. This guy had written, in very spidery writing, 'there is no apostrophe in the possessive pronoun'. As I looked it over, he said, 'you are a book shop, you should know better', as he scuttled away from me. My opinion? He should get a life! 
I mean, he's right, but come on, is that really such a pressing issue that he feels he needs to draw it to our attention? It's a typo after all...
Reminded me of three different women who complained in the card shop I worked in many moons ago. The first made a big issue out of our sign in the window, hastily handwritten, that said 'all stationery now half price'...and the second complained that our halloween sign only had on 'L' in it, the other that it should be spelt hallow'een (Wrong!!). Yes, so we had some incorrectly spelt signage, but really necessary to make such a fuss?? Really??
I know handwriting and grammar is very, very important, but are people who point this out really upholders of the proper usage or are they just anal? I want to kill whenever I go into a fruit and veg shop that has inappropriate use of apostrophes round words, (are they apples or 'apples'??) but I don't say anything to anybody. Should I? Or is life just too short? The latter, if you ask me!
I mean, he's right, but come on, is that really such a pressing issue that he feels he needs to draw it to our attention? It's a typo after all...
Reminded me of three different women who complained in the card shop I worked in many moons ago. The first made a big issue out of our sign in the window, hastily handwritten, that said 'all stationery now half price'...and the second complained that our halloween sign only had on 'L' in it, the other that it should be spelt hallow'een (Wrong!!). Yes, so we had some incorrectly spelt signage, but really necessary to make such a fuss?? Really??
I know handwriting and grammar is very, very important, but are people who point this out really upholders of the proper usage or are they just anal? I want to kill whenever I go into a fruit and veg shop that has inappropriate use of apostrophes round words, (are they apples or 'apples'??) but I don't say anything to anybody. Should I? Or is life just too short? The latter, if you ask me!
Well Heeled Wummin
I was unemployed for many a year, and I kept the madness at bay by working in various charity shops. Man, I thought those customers were odd, but in the past few months I have discovered that there are far crazier people out there. They are the Bookshop Customer.
The other day I had an experience so bizarre I actually got a headache for about 20 minutes after it. I was lying awake during the night afterwards replaying it in my head (bad habit that).
I was on a late shift, so arrived on shop floor for my first tills shift a little after 1:30, served about 3 customers. A slight lull, then a customer comes over. Well Heeled Lady, dressed well, speaks with a fairly posh accent.
(I paraphrase slightly as I cannot recall the entire conversation, the rage shut my brain down.)
Me: Hello, how can I help?
WHL: (in very loud angry voice, which she uses throughout the conversation) I have a complaint, I bought this book on Saturday and I've been overcharged.
She shows me her receipt, then the book. Sure enough, book has £6.99 printed on it, but a (Damnit I have no Euro symbol!!) Euro10.45 price sticker on it.
Me: Ok, no problem.
WHL: Oh but it IS a problem!
Me: Sorry, I meant it's no problem to refund you the difference.
WHL: Well I should hope not!
Me: I can only apologise, it's been priced accidentally.
WHL: Does that happen often?
Me: Oh no, every now and than, but it's a glitch that we should catch before it reaches shop floor.
WHL: Yes, that's all very well, but you cannot get away with that!
Me: With what? Sorry?
WHL: Ripping people off!! If you're replacing £ prices with Euro ones, and hoping nobody notices, you're ripping people off!!
Me: Oh no, it's not like that, it's an accident!
WHL: You cannot charge a Euro price on something if there is a £ price and call that an accident! If you do that on every book in here you're making an obscene profit!!
Me: No, no, I assure you, the sticker was printed accidentally, it should never have been put on this book. It was a total accident, not done on purpose.
(All the time I'm working on the till, scanning the book, refunding her the difference. I give her the receipt and the money. She's wittering on a lot and I'm trying to concentrate on both tasks at once.)
WHL: (looks at £3.46 I've given her and says) Is that all you're giving me?
Me: Yes, that's the difference, the amount you were overcharged.
WHL: Well that's disgraceful. I'm going to make a complaint about this, you are ripping people off and being blatant about it!!
(by this time a substantial queue has built up behind her and people are looking pissed off. Now, this is where it goes extremely pear shaped, and embarrassing for me, as I have no idea why I thought what I did. Rage rage, I suppose. She picks up the book.)
Me: No! You cannot keep the book, I have refunded you! (for some reason my enraged brain thought I had fully refunded her!! Why?!?!)
WHL: WHAT???!?!??!?!?!!?!!!!
Me: (realising my error) Oh!! NO, sorry, you are right, for some reason I thought I had fully refunded you! I'm sorry! You confused me!
WHL: I confused you???? WELL...The Citizens Advice Bureau will hear of THIS!!!!
(stomps off)
Why I thought that...I don't know. She flummoxed me with her constant whiny voice snipping away at me as I tried, on more than one occasion, to apologise and explain. The staff on either side of me were asking, 'what just happened?? What was she on??!!'
About half an hour later I had a similar complaint, a man had bought books on a 3 for 2 offer and realised after he had paid that he had been charged for all 3. I apologised, refunded him the difference, and he said, 'don't worry, these things happen'. Laughed about it. What a difference in personality!!
The other day I had an experience so bizarre I actually got a headache for about 20 minutes after it. I was lying awake during the night afterwards replaying it in my head (bad habit that).
I was on a late shift, so arrived on shop floor for my first tills shift a little after 1:30, served about 3 customers. A slight lull, then a customer comes over. Well Heeled Lady, dressed well, speaks with a fairly posh accent.
(I paraphrase slightly as I cannot recall the entire conversation, the rage shut my brain down.)
Me: Hello, how can I help?
WHL: (in very loud angry voice, which she uses throughout the conversation) I have a complaint, I bought this book on Saturday and I've been overcharged.
She shows me her receipt, then the book. Sure enough, book has £6.99 printed on it, but a (Damnit I have no Euro symbol!!) Euro10.45 price sticker on it.
Me: Ok, no problem.
WHL: Oh but it IS a problem!
Me: Sorry, I meant it's no problem to refund you the difference.
WHL: Well I should hope not!
Me: I can only apologise, it's been priced accidentally.
WHL: Does that happen often?
Me: Oh no, every now and than, but it's a glitch that we should catch before it reaches shop floor.
WHL: Yes, that's all very well, but you cannot get away with that!
Me: With what? Sorry?
WHL: Ripping people off!! If you're replacing £ prices with Euro ones, and hoping nobody notices, you're ripping people off!!
Me: Oh no, it's not like that, it's an accident!
WHL: You cannot charge a Euro price on something if there is a £ price and call that an accident! If you do that on every book in here you're making an obscene profit!!
Me: No, no, I assure you, the sticker was printed accidentally, it should never have been put on this book. It was a total accident, not done on purpose.
(All the time I'm working on the till, scanning the book, refunding her the difference. I give her the receipt and the money. She's wittering on a lot and I'm trying to concentrate on both tasks at once.)
WHL: (looks at £3.46 I've given her and says) Is that all you're giving me?
Me: Yes, that's the difference, the amount you were overcharged.
WHL: Well that's disgraceful. I'm going to make a complaint about this, you are ripping people off and being blatant about it!!
(by this time a substantial queue has built up behind her and people are looking pissed off. Now, this is where it goes extremely pear shaped, and embarrassing for me, as I have no idea why I thought what I did. Rage rage, I suppose. She picks up the book.)
Me: No! You cannot keep the book, I have refunded you! (for some reason my enraged brain thought I had fully refunded her!! Why?!?!)
WHL: WHAT???!?!??!?!?!!?!!!!
Me: (realising my error) Oh!! NO, sorry, you are right, for some reason I thought I had fully refunded you! I'm sorry! You confused me!
WHL: I confused you???? WELL...The Citizens Advice Bureau will hear of THIS!!!!
(stomps off)
Why I thought that...I don't know. She flummoxed me with her constant whiny voice snipping away at me as I tried, on more than one occasion, to apologise and explain. The staff on either side of me were asking, 'what just happened?? What was she on??!!'
About half an hour later I had a similar complaint, a man had bought books on a 3 for 2 offer and realised after he had paid that he had been charged for all 3. I apologised, refunded him the difference, and he said, 'don't worry, these things happen'. Laughed about it. What a difference in personality!!
Monday 6 April 2009
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